hello all it been awhile but alot has happen i m finally settling into my job which was bothering me for quite sometime but i think i might be able to handle it for now and a good of fashion me i failed an exam for my degree n will definatly have to retake it AGAIN!!!!! which is sian lah fucking hell n i hope not to do again

these weeks have been a ups n lately alot of down cos i maybe having a gf hehehe yes yes surprise surprise but i sometime think whether i am i really in a relationship or just a fling like usual cos i not cool ,rich or doing very well which eventually i will as she has discribe to me all the time a teacher which is a prop , a national hockey player in malaysia and another prop from scc haha guess wat me too , i dont know whether issit becos got her on a rebound or wat lah cos she just broke up wif the malaysian hockey player, we ve been toking on the fone alot these few weeks but recently our conversation have included him alot , she toks about wat he does wif her ,and how good he is n all that cos she has forgiven him which i fine wif he toking to her and all that lah i think she she still has feeling for him or she wan me to be like him but i cant be wat he is , today this sentence popped in my mind ' i can be there for her when she is down but wen up i can never catch u cos i dont do that ' believe me i will try of cos

anyway i will keep it going also long as possible maybe our luck will change for the better ,but it doesnt i hope it will be for the better

 

CHEERSS

i have forgot how beautiful it is the look up in the sky n see the clouds go by on a bright sunny day ..... hiaz.... its some how relaxes my mind from all the problem sourrounding me and in that little momment all the pressure melt away as my mind drifts away wif the cloud

after changing my job i am being to wonder wheather i made a mistake doing so, after also most a month into the job i finding it hard to settal down, i dont feel that there is any togetherness from my colleagues and from the boss, wats worest i m working long hrs without getting any pay, although i agreed that there will not be any OT pay but i as also told the job seldom requires me to do overtime which is making feel abit cheated .....hiaz , i guess for now i dont really have a choice in this matter as i have to take it a day at a time n slowly build myself up again

 

Yo Yo i m back after not blogging for such a long time ... wah  after reading the previous shit i have written, i was damn piss off with all that was going on with the useless ppl a the club who where so call making hard decision for the greater good,now i think of it after all this time they r fools who dream big but act small

now after the new coach has taken over all has changed i have more games ,much more apreciated wif my afford ,but unfortunatly i cant commit as much time as i wan anymore cos of work man ...

hiaz i guess my time in the sun has come but i have no time to enjoy it ,i have to make arrangement just to go for games ,now swopping wif colleauges begging them to cover me bribing them wif me doing sundays for them, i hate to beg!!!! ....i guess i m stuck in this mess for awhile hahaha

my luck has just gotten from bad to worst i think after being kicked out of the team ,taken back  and the kick back to hell , where i see no end to this endless pit i have fallen into where every glimer of light get swallowed but the darkness and no end to this fall ...... hiaz.....



how hard should i work to get my spot in the sun ,i m damned by promises and doom by trust , y cos all the promise have heard for every MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH at the club is not even worth a pile of horse shit

"work hard u will get ur chance"
how much harder can i train where it the chance U FUCKING ASSHOLE promised me  

"the more training u come for show how much commitement and how much u wan to play "haven i turned up for every FUCKING CHEE BY training  since training started FUCK U
"wait ur turn u will play sooner or later i once had to wait a long time for my chance "
SO WAT is it my fault U SUCK  MORE then than u do now !!!!!!!!!!!

where did i go wrong, wat made it wrong ,when was i lost and when will i be found ..........
HIAZ......

alan tried to soften it so it wont hurt so much by saying that they have tot long and hard abt it and although i have shown inprovement we have to do this (bottom line is UR JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH SHIT HEAD) but u can have to come for our trg WTF for i wonder then alvin said that "we are going for premier next yr so can we will invite u to join them wen we promote the div 2 " FUCK OFF lah try my ass div 2 is where i was running away from wat make u think i will have a chance in hell to join then no matter how hard i work ppl will still see me as a loser
then the worst thing happened the cheat of all cheats terence told me that if any of them who will be dropped i would be the first 1 the call up to replace him which confirms my future for SRC which is i will nv play under this name for a long time or maybe nv

today is another shity day as i was told to fuck off cos ur just not good enough for us but do hang around so that we can shame u and make u the pin up boy for those who made it to aspire not be like u but wen we pick the next team u can try to prove to us u are good enough for us we promise to put ur name on top of the list so that we can kick off first again hahahaha

Your Birthdate: November 22

While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

Its the holidays for me but it seem that i have nothing to do beside helping at my sch rugby team , sch project and of cos trg or rotting at home which sound like a lot fun to some  ,but ITS VERY BORING i wan to do stuff thats fun ..... hiaz..... maybe its becos i dont have someone to do stuff wif or it seems that everytime i wan to get out of house nobody is free or is aready doing something fun aready is too busy to attend to me ,i guess maybe its the cures of a single child who is doomed to live like a hermit who nobody remembers or who dies alone hahaha but then again its not that bad i have the whole place to myself most of the time do wat ever i wan hahaha , or maybe i m not a fun person to be wif hor or in just a boring guy hiaz......

i m fucking piss abt the match yesterdays game wif the same stories again playing 10 mins which dashed all the hopes i had for the new mangement wen down the drain, giving  their empty promises and screwing u from behind and then tell u they enjoyed screwing u ,wats worst they say u are good but ur not there yet and have to work on alot of things ,wat the fuck for wen thesuperstars are screwing u together wif mangement like whore ,i feel that this mangement who dream big but act small are doing things they are totally againest and do it anyway because thay can

i believe i have work hard over the past few week coming down for trg wasting my blood sweat and Time which i can nv get back ,all to see it wasted to so mother fucking bastard who has clocked hours upon hours of exeprience who got into the good books wen they where in their  30s ,who  can only walk during the game and taking my place just because they can do a good blowjob  for the mangement , wats the point of me turning up changing up and only get front row seat to the match wat worst every fucking "senior" i tok to abt this problem will start wif their sad story of being in the same position 10 yrs ago my ans to them is SO THE FUCKING WAT and this  all boring storys are bring me to tears just because i had to here it and tell me i have a good chance of playing which is the same handing u a blank cheaque to a empty bank account and time and time again promising u something they are not willing to give
wats worst once they think u are not of value to them u become their goto bitch doing things the superstar will nv be asked to do which making me feel a slut who does their laundry n every mistake u make is magnified into something earth shaking and wen they do its just a joke to be laughed off anyway if this doesnt change i m leaving or better still i going to scc just to piss the hell out of everybody

today we lost the match becos we were running around like chickens wif out heads we didnt have enough players to begin wif and i felt that nobody did wat we were taught during training and everybody did wat every fuck they wanted and nobody was listening nobody was toking wats worst the players i was depending on the most were either not there or are walking all over the bloody field nobody stayed in line during defence and nobody was running up or creating space for others through

i think i will stop shouting on the field wen we play cos first nobody lisiten to me  second  i feel like a fool shout from the other side of  field and nobody gives a damn  third i m not the captain and if the captain is not smart enough lead y should i waste my time forth i wont be there forever to shout at them and if they dont wake up the fucking stupid idea to open their cum filled mouth then good good look to RP LOSER RUGBY TEAM cos they will never WIN and of course we have super stars that think they are great players n do wat ever they wan on the field which i HATE the most as these are the biggerest losers to me and will be the ppl who will bring the team down cos the captain cannot control or will not control them cos we need them to win

ITS HOT, the last i checked my termometer it is 31.5 degrees it so hot my balls are becoming sticky and i have to put powder to stop them for sticking (hmmmmm note to self invent non-stick underwear), u might ask 'y dont u on the air con ' cos i aint got 1 but i have then next best things 2 fans blowing hot air at me right now which is no much help cos its HOT!!!!!!!